Holiday Stress? DBT Skill that works!

The holiday season is often filled with joy, but it can also bring stress. Whether it’s managing family dynamics, navigating busy schedules, or balancing expectations, the holidays can sometimes feel overwhelming. That’s where a skill from Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT)—called Cope Ahead—can be a game-changer.

Cope Ahead is a proactive tool that helps you prepare for stressful situations before they even happen. Instead of waiting until you’re in the midst of a stressful moment, you can visualize potential challenges ahead of time and plan how to handle them calmly and effectively. By thinking through scenarios ahead of time, you build confidence and reduce anxiety when those situations arise. This is the time to use your family’s patterns and habits to your advantage. For example, If you know that the topic of politics arises at the dinner table every holiday, and it often ends in a fight, you can move from worries about whether this pattern will continue into counting on this happening and making a plan for how to handle it.

Here’s how to use Cope Ahead:

1. Practice environment: It is best to practice this skill every day for a week leading up to the event. Give yourself fifteen minutes each day in a calm, quiet location to practice.
2. Identify Stressful Scenarios:  Think about the holiday events or situations that usually trigger stress. It could be a family gathering, certain conversation topics, feeling overstimulated at a shopping mall, buying gifts, or feeling overwhelmed by a busy calendar.
3. Go into Detail About the Event: Picture the situation in as much detail as possible. Use your past history with this situation to your advantage by taking the guesswork out of what might happen. What are the people, sounds, and emotions you might experience? What has been your typical reaction to these stimuli in the past? Try to anticipate the challenges that may come up as you experience them.
4. Plan Your Response: Decide ahead of time how you want to react. What coping strategies can you use? It could be deep breathing, planned ignoring, distress tolerance “TIPP” skills, taking a break from the situation by going for a walk, or setting boundaries with loved ones ahead of time or in the moment.
5. Visualize Coping Effectively: Just like gymnasts and dancers practice their routines in their minds ahead of time, you will find the most success when you visualize yourself using your skills effectively. Walk yourself step by step through the event starting with the challenging event taking place, your physical and emotional reaction, then most importantly, the self-soothing skills you will use in the moment. Visualize yourself responding effectively to the event over and over for fifteen minutes.
6. Practice Self-Compassion: Remind yourself that it’s okay to not be perfect. The holidays can be tough for everyone, and it’s important to approach yourself with kindness.

By using Cope Ahead, you’re not just surviving the holidays—you’re setting yourself up to thrive.

If you are interested in developing more DBT skills such as Cope Ahead, give us a call or text us to learn more about the DBT group therapies we offer.

If you are interested in talking to me, feel free to reach out.